27 years together. In all that time, there were very few days that we didn't talk.
At a roundup camp in Nevada, I had to hike over a half mile up a ridge to find phone service so we only talked three or four times a week that month. At the first hunting camp I cooked for, we were there in pickups so when I got into trouble with whatever I was trying to cook, I'd get in my truck and drive the 12 miles to where the phone would work and she'd talk me through my issue. Same kind of thing when I was cooking at Parade Rest Ranch in West Yellowstone. She talked me, step by step, through making a french silk pie.
When I was cooking for Audie, there just wasn't phone contact. So, during the day, when I thought of something I'd like to tell her, I'd write it down. When Audie had to go to town for something, I'd give him my notes to Joann. He teased me about his having to deliver my "love letters".
First, I'd like to call your attention to a couple of things. When you watch that slide show, in almost every picture, she's shining out her brilliant smile. She was so happy all the time. She smiled and it would light up a room.
Another thing. Our first dinner date was at Wongs in Helena. I know that at least three people took the time to walk across the room to say hello to her and talk for a minute. That was a continuing scene. In Townsend and Helena I wasn't too surprised when people went out of their way to say hello. But, Bozeman? Billings? Great Falls? Pretty much anywhere we went.
The first time I took her out, we went to Helena to "goof around". She liked just taking a day and not having anything in particular to do. She wanted to go to antique stores and 2nd hand stores. I really didn't, but whatever she wanted was ok. I'd be looking at things that interested me...for myself. She'd be saying things like: "Tom would really like this." "Maybe I'll get this for Mom". Rarely a thought for herself.
We were a great team in any venture. Working on the ranch, working at cafes, doing the Cowboy Gathering...we just clicked, almost from the beginning. Joann was the best friend I've ever had and the love of my life. She saved me from myself more than once.
She did have a hard time grasping the concept of just being together. She always kind of wanted interaction. We should be talking or something. I was just content to know she was in the room with me.
I remember times when we were riding and we'd ride side by side, holding hands. How we became so close, when we were really so different, I don't know. Don't care either. I'm simply thankful that I had the honor, the pleasure and the blessing of being so close to such a wonderful person.
I know she babysat many of you here tonight. She was so great with children. I will always regret our not getting married. It was my fault as I was so gunshy about marriage after the disaster of my first one. But Joann should have been blessed with a passel of kids of her own. Her nieces and nephews always figured prominently in her thoughts. Those trips to the 2nd hand stores often resulted in toys or clothes for the kids.
Some of the happiest times we had together was when we took care of the girls of the Six family. Katherine, especially, as she was the first. She would spend hours at my house or we'd take her to the park to play. My house became filled with toys and books for those girls. Just being around them made Joann so happy.
In my life, I've been around some really talented animal trainers. I've known people who trained dogs and horses for many things. I've never seen anyone who was as good with animals as Joann. They loved her on sight and she could get them to do about anything she wanted. Her favorite horse, ever, was Poppy. I never got to meet Pop as she was gone by the time I came into the picture, but Joann talked about her all the time. She could whistle and call and Poppy would come from acres away. If Joann needed to do something quickly, she could get on Poppy, bareback and no bridle or halter and move cows or catch the other horses or anything.
One evening, we were paging through Netflix, looking for something we could watch. We came across Heartland. for those who aren't familiar, Heartland is a Canadian series about a horse ranch where the main girl, Amy, is a "horse whisperer" and people bring their troubled horses for training. Most episodes have that scenario in them and Joann would tell me, very early in the show, what was wrong with the horse and how Amy could fix it. Eventually, the scriptwriters would catch up with Joann and Amy'd do it Joann's way. Heartland became something that we did together. We never really talked about saving it for when we were together, but that was how we watched it, the first time through. It kind of became her nightlight the last year or so, pretty much permanently playing on her phone.
We went to Yellowstone together, over seven years ago now! Where did that time go!? Anyway, we
got to West about 7PM and I was all for just settling into the motel room but she said that, since we were there, why waste that time? We went into the park. Lots of things to see of course and lots to show her. We got to Old Faithful about 9:30 at night and saw something I've never seen before and having grown up in West Yellowstone, I've been to Old Faithful more times than I can even imagine. Anyway, the parking lot looked like Wally World in National Lampoon's Vacation. Completely empty. We were the only car there. We walked up to the boardwalk viewing area, all alone. It was so quiet that we could hear the other thermal features bubbling. We could hear machinery kick on in the buildings around us. When Old Faithful went off, in the full moon light, it was the most magical experience! Another of those countless great memories I have of the times we spent together.
I had a tour of music shows set up. Idaho, Oregon, Utah and Arizona. I went to my first one fine but the transmission went out on my pickup on the way to Oregon. I limped into Boise at 30 MPH. The transmission place said $2500! I offered to play pool for it, but he wouldn't. Anyway, I was thinking I'd cancel the whole tour and limp to St. Anthony, where I have friends and family. Joann said that I couldn't just cancel and she paid for my new transmission. That made me the personification of the old joke: "What's a Musician without a girlfriend? Homeless."
We set up a Cowboy Entertainer Gathering here for 11 years. It became one of the most popular gatherings for performers. Everybody wanted to come here and perform. We had people from all over the country and Canada coming here. Joann was the real leader of the whole thing. She had gone to a few shows with me and remembered the good and bad about each and incorporated all the good into ours. The response from those Cowboy entertainers has been overwhelming in the last few days. Love and condolences have come from the Western Music Association, Cowboy Poets of Idaho and the Academy of Western Artists and all those members who knew her.
She started Dialyses in December of '21. We did Peritoneal dialyses at home, every night. Then, in February of 22, she couldn't sit up in bed. I went around and checked her and she had had a stroke. She spent a month in the hospital in Billings and then a little over two weeks at rehab in Helena. She came back to my house as it was just easier for all this stuff for her to be in town. But, she wanted to go home. The first week of this month, she was really sick all night and then weak and unable to get around that morning. I called Ed and he helped me get her into the car. She didn't want to go to this hospital so I took her to St. Petes. She was there all day and getting more and more in trouble. They thought she had pneumonia and needed ICU but Helena didn't have room so they wanted to take her to Missoula. We talked about what the intubation and respirator would mean but she felt that they could fix pneumonia so she was willing to do it. So, she got an airplane ride to Missoula. Further testing and examinations showed that she had had a heart attack. She was over a week in Missoula and they admitted that she really wasn't getting any better or any worse there so she might was well come home. I brought her back Friday, the 4th. When I got up last Tuesday, I found her nearly unresponsive. She was able to tell me no hospital, no ambulance so I started calling the family. We arranged for Hospice to come to her as we all gathered together. Her family was all there for her when she quietly slipped away.
I've always been kind of a loner. Usually most comfortable by myself. Until I met Joann. Then, there was one person I wanted with me. Now, I'm learning the difference between being by myself and being alone. Can't say I like it much.
